Friday, November 25, 2005
A post for my thoughts
I was thinking that Isi's existence is not yet indelibly linked to that of the main character, Nina and that is a problem. It isn't quite clear why we are interested except that her story, on it's own, is more interesting than Nina's...another problem. Also, must remember to keep a very dramatic suspenseful tone. This is not a light story. I like the tone of the second Lord of the Rings movie. It is quite atmospheric and dramatic. I want that wide open, cinematic feel in a way but more importantly, I am learning to write better character descriptions. I am reading a novel about the civil war, since this is close to the same time period. The writing style and dialogue has been very enlightening. And it also reminded me to add rain. Weather can be quite exciting/moving, don't you think? (-:
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Final Scene
I did write the final scene but I still have the beginning and the middle to do. The writing is not spectacular but I think it will be pretty straightforward to edit, fun even...versus writing the first draft. In other words, this is just getting the story down on paper and the beauty will come out in the revisions (hopefully). Also, it's nice to know that if I write one page in Times New Roman single-spaced size 10 then I get a three page scene in the standard double-spaced Times New Roman 12. I like to be able to see everything I am writing on one page. Also, writing one page is much less intimidating than writing three. Going to take my little sister to see Harry Potter on Wednesday. Hopefully Wednesday will be far enough from the Madding Crowds. And they are mad right now. HiHo.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
At the beginning of the story
At the beginning of the story, Nina steals gunpowder from the military and then burns down the courthouse, somehow saving a friend of the blacksmith's from execution. So this is why the blacksmith is particularly glad to help her escape later and perhaps even feels obligated to do so.
I realize I have not written much recently. I have gotten stuck as to what to do with the beginning of the story, etc. so that it is truly engaging and flows well with the rest of the novel. Okay, gotta run...
I realize I have not written much recently. I have gotten stuck as to what to do with the beginning of the story, etc. so that it is truly engaging and flows well with the rest of the novel. Okay, gotta run...
Monday, August 15, 2005
Dramatic Changes?
So, I would like to change the first scene I think from her burning down the courthouse to her stealing gunpowder from the military. However, she could do something dramatic while she is in town...no problem...maybe she does destroy the courthouse while she is there to try to discourage more settlers from coming and protest recent actions.
This would give her a reason for attacking Palmer....she was being chased and thinks someone has infiltrated her refuge/home and is after her. Her having been almost caught, would also explain why her crimes aren't necessarily blamed on someone else and it would immediately show a conflict between heroine and villain as well as her beginning her plan of action.
This would give her a reason for attacking Palmer....she was being chased and thinks someone has infiltrated her refuge/home and is after her. Her having been almost caught, would also explain why her crimes aren't necessarily blamed on someone else and it would immediately show a conflict between heroine and villain as well as her beginning her plan of action.
My Dilemma
Okay, a bestseller is supposed to begin with the event or problem that initiates the rest of the storyline, the natural flow of events. However, the primary problem in my story for the main character, Nina, is that the contract has been signed (the Treaty of Dancing Rabbit Creek) and the US government is going to force the Choctaw to leave their homes and property in Mississippi where they have been for hundreds of years and send them (on what turns out to be a disasterous and deadly journey) to Oklahoma. The beginning of the book should theoretically then be when the treaty is signed but that scene seems pretty lackluster to me.
The relocation is the major problem (which does not get solved by the way...but her goals change somewhat in the end) and throughout most of the book, the hero is a hinderance or an obstacle in her path. She is developing her plan when she ends up resusitating Palmer and then he disagrees with her logic, her philosophy of action, and later he actually sabotages her plan and then when she ends up getting herself locked up saving him from capture.
The relocation is the major problem (which does not get solved by the way...but her goals change somewhat in the end) and throughout most of the book, the hero is a hinderance or an obstacle in her path. She is developing her plan when she ends up resusitating Palmer and then he disagrees with her logic, her philosophy of action, and later he actually sabotages her plan and then when she ends up getting herself locked up saving him from capture.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
BrotherMan
Having done more research, I have discovered that there were a number of freemen in Mississippi at the time (who were day laborers or sometimes tradespeople) but there were no buffalo soldiers until the civil war (or black confederates for that matter).
So the character that Palmer (hero) thinks is his brother is now a free man in town and a skilled tradesman, a blacksmith. Somehow Nina helps him or his one true love, who is not free, and that's why he helps free Nina from prison. I think this storyline still needs a lot of developing. He is critically affected by the changing sentiments and laws regarding free men in the state (a repercussion of the Nat Turner Rebellion).
So the character that Palmer (hero) thinks is his brother is now a free man in town and a skilled tradesman, a blacksmith. Somehow Nina helps him or his one true love, who is not free, and that's why he helps free Nina from prison. I think this storyline still needs a lot of developing. He is critically affected by the changing sentiments and laws regarding free men in the state (a repercussion of the Nat Turner Rebellion).
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Pushmataha
Actually, my idea that the elders would have made decisions seems to have been somewhat misguided. It would have been the leader or chief (says everything I have read so far) that would have made such decisions. In fact, the leader of the "Choctaw Nation" in 1824, A-Push-ma-ta-ha-hu-bi, is actually quite well know and respected. I have read conflicting accounts of his views but many seem in agreement that he did not oppose relocation to Oklahoma, seeing it as fertile country. He died in Washington D.C. where he had gone to negotiate for the Choctaw with President Jackson. While Pushmataha hated the Creeks because his parents had been killed by them, I imagine Nina hates the settlers/troops for the same reason. The leader during removal was Nitakechi, more on him later.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Nina and Isi Interaction
Plan to split the scene where Nina and Isi interact into two scenes. The first only hints at some lack of agreement between them. Otherwise, Isi seems pleasant and agreeable and admiring of Nina's independent ways.
In the second scene, it becomes clear that they are not in agreement. That Isi plans to go one way, away from the community and traditional values, while Nina very much believes in the community and maybe traditional values too in some ways (though she is not in agreement with elders/signers of contracts with US gov to relocate, etc).
In the second scene, it becomes clear that they are not in agreement. That Isi plans to go one way, away from the community and traditional values, while Nina very much believes in the community and maybe traditional values too in some ways (though she is not in agreement with elders/signers of contracts with US gov to relocate, etc).
Isi and Jim, aren't you sick of them already?
Isi wants her friendship with Jim to remain as it has been in their childhood. She avoids any conversation which is tending toward a discussion of his feelings about her. She doesn't want to face this and that's part of why she cries in a later scene when he doesn't let her not face him.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Tragic Jim
I have been informed that Jim has not been developed very well as the tragic figure he is in my mind. I didn't think this was terribly important before but now I see how this really adds to the story, making him deeper. He is a tragic figure in that he loves Isi, though he is an alcoholic thanks to the poison he procures from the army, and Isi will never love him because not only is he a mess but she is absolutely in love with the general.
So I have made changes in the story to reflect this tragedy. This is the entire list of scenes in the Isi/General/Jim storyline.
1. Description of Choctaw community
2. General Beech and Isi Meeting 1: Do they know each other already? Yes.
3. Introduce Jim, interaction/friendship with/confidant of Isi. He is clearly obssessed with her. But he's a mess and she tells him so (without realizes that she is hurting his feelings or realizing that he loves her and believes/takes everything she says to heart) She mentions his ragged appearance, his breath (alcohol), and then casually leaves after having met him by a stream and not really saying much but getting the "white" peoples' clothes she asked him for (she is using him unconsciously), a dress and shoes. He is very disappointed, he had expected to be able to talk to her in return for his gifts...
4. Contact tells Nina of her worries about her granddaughter, Isi, and who she chooses to spend time with. She asks Nina to speak with Isi, try to show her a better path to take so she does not turn out like her mother.
5. Jim shows up looking for Isi in her grandmother's home (he wants to tell her something, that he loves her, that he has changed). Nina, who is visiting the grandmother, tells him to leave Isi alone.
6. General Beech's ailing mother pressures him to be successful in military, politics, to marry well, etc..for her sake or as a sort of dying wish (she says she is dying).
7. Isi tells all her hopes and dreams of being with the General to her friend, Jim. She doesn't realize that Jim is in love with her and she doesn't notice how he has tried to change himself for her, cleaning up and leaving the bottle for the day at least. (His hands are shaking from withdrawal.) This makes him angry and he doesn't spare her feelings in telling her how stupid he thinks she is to love the General, that he will only hurt her, leave her like she is nothing...that she *is* nothing to the General. She is angry, tells Jim that he is so wrong, pouts. He pulls her to him and then leaves before losing control. with her crying and confused...
8. Suitor has come to "visit his mother" and they all end up having a discussion about a number of topics (interviewing for marriage) including (because of a comment she has casually made) about the Indians. She thinks they are all savages. He argues that perhaps they could be reformed...."Goodness," she says, "What a missionary soul you have!" She is surprised by his impassioned views on this topic. There is some mention of President Jackson's opinions (perhaps by his mother to support her and suitor's opinions).
9. Heroine speaks with Isi, tries to get her to see the evil of her ways. Isi admires Nina's independence of the elders/community but is not convinced to change.
10. Isi hears of the General's suitor from her drunk friend, Jim, and is deperately trying to think of a way to win the General back when she sees Nina going to speak with her grandmother and she gets inspired.
11. Isi tells General of Hero's escape plans.
12. Isi begs the general to stay with her/take her with him. He angrily refuses. He will not give up, cannot give up his prospects for an Indian "heathen". He calls her a heathen but she would accept his religion. She is cast aside/left/abandoned in tears.
13. General dreams Isi is a white woman and she gets along fabolously with his mother. He wakes in a cold sweat.
14. Isi goes to church meeting (wants to stop being a heathen in the General's eyes). Is happy in being able to earn his love (she thinks).
15. General's second meeting with his suitor (this or subsequent meetings are reported to Isi), General agrees to marry her (asks her in a non-romantic, all business way) in order to secure the posiiton of political power (she is daughter of some bigwig and lets him know that while she can be very pleasant, she is not to be trifled with and if he isn't certain then he would do best not to ask her again...but he does, with more feeling now than the first time - has he perhaps convinced himself?) that has been slipping our of his grasp and to make his ailing mother happy. Perhaps we don't see the proposal but only him telling his mother about it.
16. Isi hears of engagement from Jim but doesn't believe it and lashes out, telling him that she hates him for trying to break them apart.. She goes to find the general and prove to herself that this isn't true...
17. Jim (in hysterics) tells Nina that Isi is in the barracks. It's too late.
18. General (coming out of the building) makes decision not to savet Isi at final moment. It's a split second decision, the building is coming down on them after the explosion and he turns and sees her reaching out to him, crying out in a panic but he leaves her. This finalizes their story. His prioriities are now apparent and no longer in question. "Isi was fun but not worth taking any risks." This scene is in slow motion, General steps out not a second before the explosion occurs behind him. He turns and there she is some distance behind him, trapped or blocked by something ....Isi's eyes are directly on his as he makes an imperceptable movement toward her and then turns and leaves..
My apologies for mistakes...not operating on any sleep right now.
Note: I have 48-49 scenes now so I only need 11 more before writing this baby up.
So I have made changes in the story to reflect this tragedy. This is the entire list of scenes in the Isi/General/Jim storyline.
1. Description of Choctaw community
2. General Beech and Isi Meeting 1: Do they know each other already? Yes.
3. Introduce Jim, interaction/friendship with/confidant of Isi. He is clearly obssessed with her. But he's a mess and she tells him so (without realizes that she is hurting his feelings or realizing that he loves her and believes/takes everything she says to heart) She mentions his ragged appearance, his breath (alcohol), and then casually leaves after having met him by a stream and not really saying much but getting the "white" peoples' clothes she asked him for (she is using him unconsciously), a dress and shoes. He is very disappointed, he had expected to be able to talk to her in return for his gifts...
4. Contact tells Nina of her worries about her granddaughter, Isi, and who she chooses to spend time with. She asks Nina to speak with Isi, try to show her a better path to take so she does not turn out like her mother.
5. Jim shows up looking for Isi in her grandmother's home (he wants to tell her something, that he loves her, that he has changed). Nina, who is visiting the grandmother, tells him to leave Isi alone.
6. General Beech's ailing mother pressures him to be successful in military, politics, to marry well, etc..for her sake or as a sort of dying wish (she says she is dying).
7. Isi tells all her hopes and dreams of being with the General to her friend, Jim. She doesn't realize that Jim is in love with her and she doesn't notice how he has tried to change himself for her, cleaning up and leaving the bottle for the day at least. (His hands are shaking from withdrawal.) This makes him angry and he doesn't spare her feelings in telling her how stupid he thinks she is to love the General, that he will only hurt her, leave her like she is nothing...that she *is* nothing to the General. She is angry, tells Jim that he is so wrong, pouts. He pulls her to him and then leaves before losing control. with her crying and confused...
8. Suitor has come to "visit his mother" and they all end up having a discussion about a number of topics (interviewing for marriage) including (because of a comment she has casually made) about the Indians. She thinks they are all savages. He argues that perhaps they could be reformed...."Goodness," she says, "What a missionary soul you have!" She is surprised by his impassioned views on this topic. There is some mention of President Jackson's opinions (perhaps by his mother to support her and suitor's opinions).
9. Heroine speaks with Isi, tries to get her to see the evil of her ways. Isi admires Nina's independence of the elders/community but is not convinced to change.
10. Isi hears of the General's suitor from her drunk friend, Jim, and is deperately trying to think of a way to win the General back when she sees Nina going to speak with her grandmother and she gets inspired.
11. Isi tells General of Hero's escape plans.
12. Isi begs the general to stay with her/take her with him. He angrily refuses. He will not give up, cannot give up his prospects for an Indian "heathen". He calls her a heathen but she would accept his religion. She is cast aside/left/abandoned in tears.
13. General dreams Isi is a white woman and she gets along fabolously with his mother. He wakes in a cold sweat.
14. Isi goes to church meeting (wants to stop being a heathen in the General's eyes). Is happy in being able to earn his love (she thinks).
15. General's second meeting with his suitor (this or subsequent meetings are reported to Isi), General agrees to marry her (asks her in a non-romantic, all business way) in order to secure the posiiton of political power (she is daughter of some bigwig and lets him know that while she can be very pleasant, she is not to be trifled with and if he isn't certain then he would do best not to ask her again...but he does, with more feeling now than the first time - has he perhaps convinced himself?) that has been slipping our of his grasp and to make his ailing mother happy. Perhaps we don't see the proposal but only him telling his mother about it.
16. Isi hears of engagement from Jim but doesn't believe it and lashes out, telling him that she hates him for trying to break them apart.. She goes to find the general and prove to herself that this isn't true...
17. Jim (in hysterics) tells Nina that Isi is in the barracks. It's too late.
18. General (coming out of the building) makes decision not to savet Isi at final moment. It's a split second decision, the building is coming down on them after the explosion and he turns and sees her reaching out to him, crying out in a panic but he leaves her. This finalizes their story. His prioriities are now apparent and no longer in question. "Isi was fun but not worth taking any risks." This scene is in slow motion, General steps out not a second before the explosion occurs behind him. He turns and there she is some distance behind him, trapped or blocked by something ....Isi's eyes are directly on his as he makes an imperceptable movement toward her and then turns and leaves..
My apologies for mistakes...not operating on any sleep right now.
Note: I have 48-49 scenes now so I only need 11 more before writing this baby up.
Scripting Software, ain't it the bomb?
So thanks to my brother, I have started using some software for creating my story outline, complete with scenes as detailed or not as I like. I can use the program to order the scenes and change the order anytime I like. Anyhow the point is that I have a fairly good idea of the main storyline's sequence now. The major scenes in that storyline are definitely in order but there are also some minor scenes that I haven't gotten around to ordering yet. Well, would you like to see what I've got so far? Tease Tease. Maybe I don't want to show you, eh? Okay, how about a few key scenes? I've added some and edited some too. Enjoy...
Nearing the very end of the book:
Nina blows up military building/barracks (she doesn't have as many explosives as she would like, due to Hero's earlier sabotage but enough to destroy building's supports) with soldiers/General inside as they are tearing people out of their homes (sympathetic people).
General (coming out of the building) makes decision to save fellow soldier and not Isi at final moment. It's a split second decision, the building is coming down on them after the explosion and he can only grab one person. This finalizes their story. His prioriities are now apparent and no longer in question. "Isi was fun but not worth taking any risks." This scene is in slow motion, General steps out not a second before the explosion occurs behind him. He turns and there are two people behind him (Isi and soldier)...both their shoulders hunched in response to loud noise...Isi's eyes are directly on his and he reaches out and...pulls/yanks out the soldier.
Nearing the very end of the book:
Nina blows up military building/barracks (she doesn't have as many explosives as she would like, due to Hero's earlier sabotage but enough to destroy building's supports) with soldiers/General inside as they are tearing people out of their homes (sympathetic people).
General (coming out of the building) makes decision to save fellow soldier and not Isi at final moment. It's a split second decision, the building is coming down on them after the explosion and he can only grab one person. This finalizes their story. His prioriities are now apparent and no longer in question. "Isi was fun but not worth taking any risks." This scene is in slow motion, General steps out not a second before the explosion occurs behind him. He turns and there are two people behind him (Isi and soldier)...both their shoulders hunched in response to loud noise...Isi's eyes are directly on his and he reaches out and...pulls/yanks out the soldier.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
List of Characters
Here are all the characters I have sketched out (in my mind) so far:
| Name | Role |
|---|---|
| Nina Xochitl | The Heroine |
| Palmer (or Aiyetoro) | The Hero |
| Chahta Apokni | The Contact |
| Isi Palli | Apokni's Wild Granddaughter |
| General Calvin Lloyd Beech | The Villian |
| Jim Blackfeather | Isi's Troubled Friend |
| Truman | The Hero's "Brother" |
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Killing two birds with one scene
Yes, I mean killing those birds...
Nina blows up some military barracks after escaping from the jail. Unbeknownst to her, Isi had come in desperation to plead with the general. Jim rides over to fetch Isi and sees what Nina is doing...tells her in a panic that Isi is there but is to late. She was in fact, in the barracks.
Killing Isi brings her to the realization that violence will always end up hurting the people she cares about. Perhaps she also believes that the Hero has been captured and killed (due to a public lie of the general's) and feels despondent for this reason as well until she finds out that it wasn't him and she rides out to find him and meets her own demise (gotta love that word).
Thank you, Sister, for helping me work that out or rather coming up with the whole frelling thing.
Nina blows up some military barracks after escaping from the jail. Unbeknownst to her, Isi had come in desperation to plead with the general. Jim rides over to fetch Isi and sees what Nina is doing...tells her in a panic that Isi is there but is to late. She was in fact, in the barracks.
Killing Isi brings her to the realization that violence will always end up hurting the people she cares about. Perhaps she also believes that the Hero has been captured and killed (due to a public lie of the general's) and feels despondent for this reason as well until she finds out that it wasn't him and she rides out to find him and meets her own demise (gotta love that word).
Thank you, Sister, for helping me work that out or rather coming up with the whole frelling thing.
Isi's Demise
Isi's demise (there is no resolution for her) is part of what transforms Nina at the end of the story. Whereas before she believed that violence would protect them, after Isi succumbs to alcohol Nina sees that it's not just militar forces that they should fear but weapons that come in other forms such as alcohol and other drugs; she finds out ultimately that the problem is far more insidious than she previously believed.
Ultimately however, the conclusion of this story is still weak. It was not when I believed that an outside company was hired to relocate the people by force. Now that that isn't true, I'm somewhat uncertain about the effective way to change Nina's mind. Afterall, no matter how powerful the military they couldn't beat the guerrilla fighters in Vietnam so what's to say she couldn't have won her battle? Why should she go write in papers and talk to people? Why is this so much more effective? In the end, she is portrayed as simply an evil terrorist and an excuse to bring in more forces but I don't want to make it seem like she was the reason for the relocation when she wasn't. It's clear in the story that relocation is being considered from the beginning. But what is it that changes Nina? What is her epiphany? Surely, seeing people being herded like cattle would make her even more angry and violent...
Ultimately however, the conclusion of this story is still weak. It was not when I believed that an outside company was hired to relocate the people by force. Now that that isn't true, I'm somewhat uncertain about the effective way to change Nina's mind. Afterall, no matter how powerful the military they couldn't beat the guerrilla fighters in Vietnam so what's to say she couldn't have won her battle? Why should she go write in papers and talk to people? Why is this so much more effective? In the end, she is portrayed as simply an evil terrorist and an excuse to bring in more forces but I don't want to make it seem like she was the reason for the relocation when she wasn't. It's clear in the story that relocation is being considered from the beginning. But what is it that changes Nina? What is her epiphany? Surely, seeing people being herded like cattle would make her even more angry and violent...
Well, where to start? At the middle?
I have a lot to post about the book. A lot of new developments/scenes. I have 35 scenes so far and am aiming for 60. As soon as I have 60 scenes in order, I'll start the writing. With approximately one scene per weekday, I could finish the first draft in about three months. Can't wait.
1. Isi's mother may have started the drinking in the family. She actually died from it...was out drinking with fellow miscreants in the rain and caught pneumonia. Isi doesn't start/fights drinking until being abandoned by the General (though her friend Jim, who is in love with her, does drink all the time.) Nina was friends with Isi's mother when they were children and that is part of the reason she agrees to try to turn around Isi upon the request of Isi's grandmother.
2. General Beech loves Isi and hates himself for it. He dreams that she has become the woman that his ailing mother wants him to marry. That they are all happy and then he wakes at first happy and then when fully awake and back in reality, is angry that he is even fantasizing about what cannot be, never will be.
3. Isi goes to a church meeting in a futile effort to try to assimilate and become someone the General would marry.
4. There is an scare- a scene of hysteria in town when people hear about alleged slave revolts similar to the recent Nat Turner's Rebellion (everyone has been on edge since then) They heard that slaves are headed to town to kill everyone and everyone is hysterical including the woman General's Mama was trying to marry him off to. She and his mother look to the General for protection. They arrest some innocent people (some of the "buffalo soldiers"?) This elaborates on the atmosphere of hysteria and might also give Truman and friends a reason for helping free Nina.
5. Palmer dreams of his own separation from his family as a boy. Then, in the dream, the boy becomes his and Nina's child.
1. Isi's mother may have started the drinking in the family. She actually died from it...was out drinking with fellow miscreants in the rain and caught pneumonia. Isi doesn't start/fights drinking until being abandoned by the General (though her friend Jim, who is in love with her, does drink all the time.) Nina was friends with Isi's mother when they were children and that is part of the reason she agrees to try to turn around Isi upon the request of Isi's grandmother.
2. General Beech loves Isi and hates himself for it. He dreams that she has become the woman that his ailing mother wants him to marry. That they are all happy and then he wakes at first happy and then when fully awake and back in reality, is angry that he is even fantasizing about what cannot be, never will be.
3. Isi goes to a church meeting in a futile effort to try to assimilate and become someone the General would marry.
4. There is an scare- a scene of hysteria in town when people hear about alleged slave revolts similar to the recent Nat Turner's Rebellion (everyone has been on edge since then) They heard that slaves are headed to town to kill everyone and everyone is hysterical including the woman General's Mama was trying to marry him off to. She and his mother look to the General for protection. They arrest some innocent people (some of the "buffalo soldiers"?) This elaborates on the atmosphere of hysteria and might also give Truman and friends a reason for helping free Nina.
5. Palmer dreams of his own separation from his family as a boy. Then, in the dream, the boy becomes his and Nina's child.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
The latest link between characters
So basically I know what characters I have now and I am just watching them and seeing how they interact with each other if at all. One potential relationship is of the heroine as a attempted mentor to Isi. She tries to help her see the error of her ways but the teacher is betrayed by her student.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Monday, July 18, 2005
Agh, not another Title...
I am going through my earlier documents related to the novel and just came across another title I had considered using, SMOKE RISING. I really like this one. It has a lot to do with the story. She creates smoke (often a way of signalling to others) by burning down buildings. He creates smoke with words...
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Sex Change?
No, I think the person/parent pushing the villain to increase his political power should be a man instead because we already have a number of women in the story (the contact, her daughter, and the heroine). If I make this character a woman, then it may also have the psychological effect of weakening the villain, making him seem less masculine (no girly men here, huh?) Well, guess I'm not quite decided on this piece yet but I'm thinking this character could be his father.....Nahhhh, I think this character being a woman is fine. If it were his father then he could be just as immasculating. On the other hand, as his mother, this character could be really insidious and unrelenting. A kind of psycho mom, nahhhh,....how about a mother who just is very nagging and suggesting he try to marry various eligible woman and that he try to speak with various muckymucks about getting promoted, etc.
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