Saturday, January 14, 2006

Title Change

Okay, if I ever actually do this then it will have to be called Smoke Rising and not Smokes Rises because it gets higher ratings on the title machine and therefore is statistically more likely to be a bestseller. What title machine? Follow this link...

http://www.lulu.com/titlescorer/index.php

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Imagining a Novel

Here, I have finally remembered to post the outline for the novel, complete with descriptions of each scene and of the characters. The scene numbers refer to particular parallel storylines and therefore there are multiples of certain scene numbers, scenes that occur simultaneously.

Smoke Rising

All Rights Reserved, 2005

Novel of at least 120,000 words and approximately 60 scenes

Story details

Format
Novel

Genre
Period drama

Concept
A Choctaw terrorist fighting to save her people from forced relocation, finds her beliefs/approach thrown into question after meeting Palmer, an escaped slave.

Setting
1831, Piney Woods, Mississippi
After August 27 and before winter relocation.
After Nat Turner's Rebellion and before the Trail of Tears.

Theme
The theme is that of the conflicting philosophies of violent and non-violence resistance. That violence will always have a painful cost and that there are more insidious weapons than guns and knives, such as alcohol..

Impact
It is riveting but more of a brainy thriller like Smilla's Sense of Snow since every scene is not action packed. It is character driven as well as plot driven.

Outcome
The Heroine dies after transforming and changing her philosophy and so does Isi in her obsession and the hero makes it north and the general makes a choice to follow the status quo.

Primary Audience
young adult and adult women of all ages

Pitch
A Choctaw terrorist fights to save her people.

Character profiles

Nina

Last name
Xochitl

Gender
Female

Sexuality
Heterosexual

Age
30

Date of birth
1801

Appearance
long black hair
strong
confident
beautiful

Spirituality
native american traditional

Personality
Fiery

Likes
The Hero


Dislikes
Army, settlers

Strengths:
Strength
Responsibilty
Stick-to-itness

Weaknesses:
Stubborness

Basic goal:
To Save her people from relocation

Desires:
To be Safe and loved

Past traumas:
Parents killed by army/settlers

Hero and Heroine: Hero and Heroine have conflicting philosophies but love each other. They must decide to either join each other, putting aside their individual beliefs, or part ways forever.

Isi and General Tragedy: Isi is obsessed with the general but the general will not allow himself to marry her because she is an Indian, a heathen. The general is pushed to marry another woman but Isi doesn't give up.

General/Town Political Environment around Nat Turner, Treaty, etc.: After Nat Turner's Rebellion, the environment is that of paranoia and hysteria. The people believe that all blacks are out to kill them.

Hero's search for Family: Hero thinks he may have found his brother, family is very important to him.

Locations

Piney Woods, Mississippi

Type
Countryside

Description
Lots of Pine Trees....Cattle, Snakes, Hogs,....etc

Chapter 1

1. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina burns down the courthouse.

2. (Hero and Heroine)

Description of the Piney Woods of Mississippi...Nina's woods, her home

3. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina encounters, attacks Hero.

4. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina tends to the injured Palmer.

5. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina tells Palmer of parents' death due to prior relocation/interference by miltitary/settlers.

6. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina goes to obtain medical supplies for Palmer and nearly runs into General Beech.

6. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Description of Choctaw community

Chapter 2

7. (Hero and Heroine)

Feverish in the woods, Hero has flashbacks to his escape from slavery and recent experiences during and following Nat Turner's Rebellion.

8. (Hero and Heroine)

While Nina has been getting supplies, hero has regressed again and is in critical condition. Perhaps he has wandered off in a high fever and she finds him lying unconscious deep in the woods. She is afraid he is about to die, but his fever finally breaks with the help of the herbal medicine she obtained from Chahta Apokni.

8. (Isi and General Tragedy)

General Beech and Isi Meeting 1

Do they know each other already? Yes.

Chapter 3

9. (Hero and Heroine)

Heroine's accident on horseback with lantern. This is the first scene where the Hero is conscious for any length of time. He wakes and follows her horse to where she lays unconscious with a concussion. He takes her back to the house.

9. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Introduce Jim, interaction/friendship with/confidant of Nina. He is clearly obssessed with her. But he's a mess and she tells him so (without realizing that she is hurting his feelings or realizing that he loves her and that he believes/takes everything she says to heart) She mentions his ragged appearance, his breath (alcohol), and then casually leaves after having met him by a stream and not really saying much but after getting the settler clothing she asked him for (she is using him, unconsciously), a dress and shoes. He is very disappointed, he had expected to be able to talk to her longer in return for the gifts...

9. (General/Town Political Environment around Nat Turner, Treaty, etc.)

Description of the town and military encampment.

10. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina recovers from explosion and must explain to the Hero why she has the stash of gunpowder, though she doesn't elaborate and say that she will be blowing up people as well as buildings.

10. (General/Town Political Environment around Nat Turner, Treaty, etc.)

(political) superior visits town, speaks with General, (he is reprimanded?) Given something of an ultimatum and things get desperate for the General (his motive to arrest hero/heroine).

General is given responsibility of overseeing removal of Choctaw to Mississippi. If he can do this smoothly (no terrorist attacks...) he will be rewarded (supposedly with a position in government).

10. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Contact tells Nina of her worries about her granddaughter, Isi, and who she is choosing to spend time with. She asks Nina to speak with Isi, to try to show her a better path to take so she does not turn out like her mother.

10. (Hero's search for Family)

The hero thought he saw his brother before losing consciousness...(Truman is the one who took him into the woods or told him the way to go)...He goes back to look for him, skimming the outskirts of the town and watching free blacks at various occupations. Truman is a blacksmith and the hero spots him and watches him work for some time. He doesn't know it but Truman notices someone is watching him after a time (isn't sure it isn't some townsperson trying to implicate him in something)

11. (Hero and Heroine)

Hero and Heroine are having a meal discussing future goals, cultural differences, and finally philosophy which they argue over vehemently. This argument is clearly not academic to them, it's their lives and what they do, plan to do that is at stake.


11. (General/Town Political Environment around Nat Turner, Treaty, etc.)

Shake-Up in town over "rioting slaves", suitor (and mother) look to general to protect them.

11. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Jim shows up looking for Isi in her grandmother's home (he wants to tell her something, that he loves her, that he has changed). Nina, who is visiting the grandmother, tells him to leave Isi alone.

12. (Hero and Heroine)

Hero tells Nina of his past (a sign of trust) and this tale confirms to the reader his absolute belief in non-violence. Also he tells of his early separation from his family and that he hopes ultimately to find his family or some of it at least.

12. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Flashback to interaction between close childhood friends, Nina and Leotie (Isi's mother). Leotie was a risk taker and rebellious...did dangerous things and found forbidden things attractive.

13. (Isi and General Tragedy)

General Beech's ailing mother pressures him to be successful in military, politics, to marry well, etc..for her sake or as a sort of dying wish (she says she is dying).

14. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Isi tells all her hopes and dreams of being with the General to her friend, Jim. She still doesn't realize that Jim is in love with her and she doesn't notice how he has tried to change himself for her, cleaning up and leaving the bottle (for the day at least). His hands are shaking from withdrawal. This makes him angry and he doesn't spare her feelings in telling her how stupid he thinks she is to love the General, that he will only hurt her, leave her like she is nothing...that she is nothing to the General. She is angry, tells Jim that he is so wrong, pouts. He pulls her to him and then leaves before losing control. with her crying and confused...

16. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Suitor has come to "visit the General's mother" and they all end up having a discussion about a number of topics (interviewing for marriage) including (because of a comment she has casually made) the Indians. She thinks they are all savages. He argues that perhaps they could be reformed...."Goodness," she says, "What a missionary soul you have!" She is surprised by his impassioned views on this topic. There is some mention of President Jackson's opinions (perhaps by his mother to support her and suitor's opinions).

Chapter 4

17. (Hero and Heroine)

Hero discovers that heroine is planning to blow up not only a building but the people/soldiers inside and he sabotages her stash of gunpowder with water (partly because he thinks Truman is his brother and will be killed in the attack).

17. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Heroine speaks with Isi, tries to get her to see the evil of her ways. Isi admires Nina's independence of the elders/community but is not convinced to change.

18. (Hero and Heroine)

Heroine discovers sabotage, the ruin of her plan, and heroine and hero fight. Climax of conflict in their philosophies. In the end, she tells him to leave, she doesn't want him here anymore.

18. (Hero's search for Family)

Hero goes back to spy on Truman (wants to find family before leaving area) and is confronted by him. Truman is at first angry until he recognizes him and realizes that he is not a spy sent by the townspeople (things such as this have happened more since Nat Turner). This is still a very very dangerous meeting because both of them could get in trouble. Hero finds out that Truman was the one who sent him into the woods so he would not get caught. They get along well but Truman is not (could not be) who he thought and hoped he might be (his brother).

18. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Isi hears of the General's suitor from her drunk friend, Jim, and is deperately trying to think of a way to win the General back when she sees Nina going to speak with her grandmother and she gets inspired.

19. (Hero and Heroine)

Palmer's dream of himself as a boy (his capture), morphing into their child (his and Nina's). in his dream, they are fighting to free their child from bondage. Palmer comes to a realization about his feeling for Nina but knows that he must do as she asked and leave now.

20. (Hero and Heroine)

Heroine speaks about hero's sabotage and escape plans to the contact. Isi overhears.

20. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Isi tells General of Hero's escape plans.

20. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Isi begs the general to stay with her/take her with him. He angrily refuses. He will not give up, cannot give up his prospects for an Indian "heathen". He calls her a heathen but she would accept his religion. She is cast aside/left/abandoned in tears.

20. (General/Town Political Environment around Nat Turner, Treaty, etc.)

Truman is badly hurt/tortured by the General in the wake of Nat Turner's Rebellion.

Chapter 5

21. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina realizes that Isi was listening and what she might have been up to. Realizes that the Hero's life and freedom are in jeopardy and goes to rescue him.

21. (Isi and General Tragedy)

General dreams Isi is a white woman and she gets along fabolously with his mother. He wakes in a cold sweat.

22. (Hero and Heroine)

Hero leaves to meet his contact and escape but the general is waiting and even before he gets there he is intercepted by general. Heroine causes a commotion, giving the hero a chance to escape, and she is captured instead.

22. (Isi and General Tragedy)

In reaction to the insults of the general, especially having been called heathen by him and pushed away...
Isi goes to church meeting (to stop being a heathen in the General's eyes). Is happy to be able to earn his love (in her delusion).

23. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina is sentenced to hang the next day in the middle of town.

Chapter 6

24. (Hero and Heroine)

Hero busts Nina out of Jail with Truman's help.

24. (Isi and General Tragedy)

General's second meeting with his suitor (this or subsequent meetings are reported to Isi), General agrees to marry her (asks her in a non-romantic, all business way) in order to secure the position of political power that has been slipping out of his grasp (she is daughter of some bigwig and lets him know that while she can seem very compliant, she is not to be trifled with and if he isn't certain then he would do best not to ask her again...but he does, with more feeling now than the first time - has he perhaps convinced himself?)...also to make his ailing mother happy. (Perhaps we don't see the proposal but only him telling his mother about it.)

25. (Hero and Heroine)

Palmer tells Nina that he has realized that while he has been searching everywhere for family, it was right in front of him...that he has already found family in Nina. He asks her to go north with him. She says no, she has a job to finish here and cannot abandon her community.

25. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Isi hears of the engagement from Jim but doesn't believe it and lashes out, telling him that she hates him for trying to break them apart.. She goes to find the general and prove to herself that this isn't true...

26. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina goes to blow up military building/barracks (she doesn't have as many explosives as she would like, due to Hero's earlier sabotage but enough to destroy building's supports) with soldiers/General inside. Her set-up, survey of scene, thoughts (internal conflict temporarily settled in favor of violence, she feels she has no choice).

26. (Isi and General Tragedy) - extra

Jim panics, thinks Isi is in the freezing cold woods and searches throughout looking for her and calling her name.

26. (Hero and Heroine)

Nina does blow up military building/barracks (she doesn't have as many explosives as she would like, due to Hero's earlier sabotage but enough to destroy building's supports) with soldiers/General inside, as they are tearing people out of their homes (sympathetic characters, human elements).

26. (Isi and General Tragedy)

Jim (in hysterics) tells Nina that Isi is in the barracks. It's too late.

27. (Isi and General Tragedy)

General (coming out of the building) makes decision not to save Isi at final moment. It's a split second decision, the building is coming down on them after the explosion and he turns and sees her reaching out to him, crying out in a panic but he leaves her. This finalizes their story. His prioriities are now apparent and no longer in question. "Isi was fun but not worth taking any risks." This scene is in slow motion, General steps out not a second before the explosion occurs behind him. He turns and there she is some distance behind him, trapped or blocked by something ....Isi's eyes are directly on his as he makes an imperceptable movement toward her and then turns and darts out of building.

Chapter 7

27. (Hero and Heroine)

Final scene, Nina's escape on horseback, pursued by general and his men. She is shot down just as she reaches the top of the hill, just in view of hero.

28. (Hero and Heroine)

The Choctaw are forced to relocate at the end of theh story during a blizzard with no shoes or adequate food and water. Isi's grandmother, Chahta Apokni, dies halfway there, buried with three others including a four-month old baby.

Friday, November 25, 2005

A post for my thoughts

I was thinking that Isi's existence is not yet indelibly linked to that of the main character, Nina and that is a problem. It isn't quite clear why we are interested except that her story, on it's own, is more interesting than Nina's...another problem. Also, must remember to keep a very dramatic suspenseful tone. This is not a light story. I like the tone of the second Lord of the Rings movie. It is quite atmospheric and dramatic. I want that wide open, cinematic feel in a way but more importantly, I am learning to write better character descriptions. I am reading a novel about the civil war, since this is close to the same time period. The writing style and dialogue has been very enlightening. And it also reminded me to add rain. Weather can be quite exciting/moving, don't you think? (-:

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Final Scene

I did write the final scene but I still have the beginning and the middle to do. The writing is not spectacular but I think it will be pretty straightforward to edit, fun even...versus writing the first draft. In other words, this is just getting the story down on paper and the beauty will come out in the revisions (hopefully). Also, it's nice to know that if I write one page in Times New Roman single-spaced size 10 then I get a three page scene in the standard double-spaced Times New Roman 12. I like to be able to see everything I am writing on one page. Also, writing one page is much less intimidating than writing three. Going to take my little sister to see Harry Potter on Wednesday. Hopefully Wednesday will be far enough from the Madding Crowds. And they are mad right now. HiHo.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

At the beginning of the story

At the beginning of the story, Nina steals gunpowder from the military and then burns down the courthouse, somehow saving a friend of the blacksmith's from execution. So this is why the blacksmith is particularly glad to help her escape later and perhaps even feels obligated to do so.

I realize I have not written much recently. I have gotten stuck as to what to do with the beginning of the story, etc. so that it is truly engaging and flows well with the rest of the novel. Okay, gotta run...

Monday, August 15, 2005

Dramatic Changes?

So, I would like to change the first scene I think from her burning down the courthouse to her stealing gunpowder from the military. However, she could do something dramatic while she is in town...no problem...maybe she does destroy the courthouse while she is there to try to discourage more settlers from coming and protest recent actions.

This would give her a reason for attacking Palmer....she was being chased and thinks someone has infiltrated her refuge/home and is after her. Her having been almost caught, would also explain why her crimes aren't necessarily blamed on someone else and it would immediately show a conflict between heroine and villain as well as her beginning her plan of action.

My Dilemma

Okay, a bestseller is supposed to begin with the event or problem that initiates the rest of the storyline, the natural flow of events. However, the primary problem in my story for the main character, Nina, is that the contract has been signed (the Treaty of Dancing Rabbit Creek) and the US government is going to force the Choctaw to leave their homes and property in Mississippi where they have been for hundreds of years and send them (on what turns out to be a disasterous and deadly journey) to Oklahoma. The beginning of the book should theoretically then be when the treaty is signed but that scene seems pretty lackluster to me.

The relocation is the major problem (which does not get solved by the way...but her goals change somewhat in the end) and throughout most of the book, the hero is a hinderance or an obstacle in her path. She is developing her plan when she ends up resusitating Palmer and then he disagrees with her logic, her philosophy of action, and later he actually sabotages her plan and then when she ends up getting herself locked up saving him from capture.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

BrotherMan

Having done more research, I have discovered that there were a number of freemen in Mississippi at the time (who were day laborers or sometimes tradespeople) but there were no buffalo soldiers until the civil war (or black confederates for that matter).

So the character that Palmer (hero) thinks is his brother is now a free man in town and a skilled tradesman, a blacksmith. Somehow Nina helps him or his one true love, who is not free, and that's why he helps free Nina from prison. I think this storyline still needs a lot of developing. He is critically affected by the changing sentiments and laws regarding free men in the state (a repercussion of the Nat Turner Rebellion).

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Pushmataha

Actually, my idea that the elders would have made decisions seems to have been somewhat misguided. It would have been the leader or chief (says everything I have read so far) that would have made such decisions. In fact, the leader of the "Choctaw Nation" in 1824, A-Push-ma-ta-ha-hu-bi, is actually quite well know and respected. I have read conflicting accounts of his views but many seem in agreement that he did not oppose relocation to Oklahoma, seeing it as fertile country. He died in Washington D.C. where he had gone to negotiate for the Choctaw with President Jackson. While Pushmataha hated the Creeks because his parents had been killed by them, I imagine Nina hates the settlers/troops for the same reason. The leader during removal was Nitakechi, more on him later.

Friday, August 05, 2005

My Scene Count

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
50 / 60
(83.0%)

Nina and Isi Interaction

Plan to split the scene where Nina and Isi interact into two scenes. The first only hints at some lack of agreement between them. Otherwise, Isi seems pleasant and agreeable and admiring of Nina's independent ways.

In the second scene, it becomes clear that they are not in agreement. That Isi plans to go one way, away from the community and traditional values, while Nina very much believes in the community and maybe traditional values too in some ways (though she is not in agreement with elders/signers of contracts with US gov to relocate, etc).

Isi and Jim, aren't you sick of them already?

Isi wants her friendship with Jim to remain as it has been in their childhood. She avoids any conversation which is tending toward a discussion of his feelings about her. She doesn't want to face this and that's part of why she cries in a later scene when he doesn't let her not face him.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Tragic Jim

I have been informed that Jim has not been developed very well as the tragic figure he is in my mind. I didn't think this was terribly important before but now I see how this really adds to the story, making him deeper. He is a tragic figure in that he loves Isi, though he is an alcoholic thanks to the poison he procures from the army, and Isi will never love him because not only is he a mess but she is absolutely in love with the general.

So I have made changes in the story to reflect this tragedy. This is the entire list of scenes in the Isi/General/Jim storyline.

1. Description of Choctaw community

2. General Beech and Isi Meeting 1: Do they know each other already? Yes.

3. Introduce Jim, interaction/friendship with/confidant of Isi. He is clearly obssessed with her. But he's a mess and she tells him so (without realizes that she is hurting his feelings or realizing that he loves her and believes/takes everything she says to heart) She mentions his ragged appearance, his breath (alcohol), and then casually leaves after having met him by a stream and not really saying much but getting the "white" peoples' clothes she asked him for (she is using him unconsciously), a dress and shoes. He is very disappointed, he had expected to be able to talk to her in return for his gifts...

4. Contact tells Nina of her worries about her granddaughter, Isi, and who she chooses to spend time with. She asks Nina to speak with Isi, try to show her a better path to take so she does not turn out like her mother.

5. Jim shows up looking for Isi in her grandmother's home (he wants to tell her something, that he loves her, that he has changed). Nina, who is visiting the grandmother, tells him to leave Isi alone.

6. General Beech's ailing mother pressures him to be successful in military, politics, to marry well, etc..for her sake or as a sort of dying wish (she says she is dying).

7. Isi tells all her hopes and dreams of being with the General to her friend, Jim. She doesn't realize that Jim is in love with her and she doesn't notice how he has tried to change himself for her, cleaning up and leaving the bottle for the day at least. (His hands are shaking from withdrawal.) This makes him angry and he doesn't spare her feelings in telling her how stupid he thinks she is to love the General, that he will only hurt her, leave her like she is nothing...that she *is* nothing to the General. She is angry, tells Jim that he is so wrong, pouts. He pulls her to him and then leaves before losing control. with her crying and confused...

8. Suitor has come to "visit his mother" and they all end up having a discussion about a number of topics (interviewing for marriage) including (because of a comment she has casually made) about the Indians. She thinks they are all savages. He argues that perhaps they could be reformed...."Goodness," she says, "What a missionary soul you have!" She is surprised by his impassioned views on this topic. There is some mention of President Jackson's opinions (perhaps by his mother to support her and suitor's opinions).

9. Heroine speaks with Isi, tries to get her to see the evil of her ways. Isi admires Nina's independence of the elders/community but is not convinced to change.

10. Isi hears of the General's suitor from her drunk friend, Jim, and is deperately trying to think of a way to win the General back when she sees Nina going to speak with her grandmother and she gets inspired.

11. Isi tells General of Hero's escape plans.

12. Isi begs the general to stay with her/take her with him. He angrily refuses. He will not give up, cannot give up his prospects for an Indian "heathen". He calls her a heathen but she would accept his religion. She is cast aside/left/abandoned in tears.

13. General dreams Isi is a white woman and she gets along fabolously with his mother. He wakes in a cold sweat.

14. Isi goes to church meeting (wants to stop being a heathen in the General's eyes). Is happy in being able to earn his love (she thinks).

15. General's second meeting with his suitor (this or subsequent meetings are reported to Isi), General agrees to marry her (asks her in a non-romantic, all business way) in order to secure the posiiton of political power (she is daughter of some bigwig and lets him know that while she can be very pleasant, she is not to be trifled with and if he isn't certain then he would do best not to ask her again...but he does, with more feeling now than the first time - has he perhaps convinced himself?) that has been slipping our of his grasp and to make his ailing mother happy. Perhaps we don't see the proposal but only him telling his mother about it.

16. Isi hears of engagement from Jim but doesn't believe it and lashes out, telling him that she hates him for trying to break them apart.. She goes to find the general and prove to herself that this isn't true...

17. Jim (in hysterics) tells Nina that Isi is in the barracks. It's too late.

18. General (coming out of the building) makes decision not to savet Isi at final moment. It's a split second decision, the building is coming down on them after the explosion and he turns and sees her reaching out to him, crying out in a panic but he leaves her. This finalizes their story. His prioriities are now apparent and no longer in question. "Isi was fun but not worth taking any risks." This scene is in slow motion, General steps out not a second before the explosion occurs behind him. He turns and there she is some distance behind him, trapped or blocked by something ....Isi's eyes are directly on his as he makes an imperceptable movement toward her and then turns and leaves..


My apologies for mistakes...not operating on any sleep right now.

Note: I have 48-49 scenes now so I only need 11 more before writing this baby up.

Scripting Software, ain't it the bomb?

So thanks to my brother, I have started using some software for creating my story outline, complete with scenes as detailed or not as I like. I can use the program to order the scenes and change the order anytime I like. Anyhow the point is that I have a fairly good idea of the main storyline's sequence now. The major scenes in that storyline are definitely in order but there are also some minor scenes that I haven't gotten around to ordering yet. Well, would you like to see what I've got so far? Tease Tease. Maybe I don't want to show you, eh? Okay, how about a few key scenes? I've added some and edited some too. Enjoy...

Nearing the very end of the book:

Nina blows up military building/barracks (she doesn't have as many explosives as she would like, due to Hero's earlier sabotage but enough to destroy building's supports) with soldiers/General inside as they are tearing people out of their homes (sympathetic people).

General (coming out of the building) makes decision to save fellow soldier and not Isi at final moment. It's a split second decision, the building is coming down on them after the explosion and he can only grab one person. This finalizes their story. His prioriities are now apparent and no longer in question. "Isi was fun but not worth taking any risks." This scene is in slow motion, General steps out not a second before the explosion occurs behind him. He turns and there are two people behind him (Isi and soldier)...both their shoulders hunched in response to loud noise...Isi's eyes are directly on his and he reaches out and...pulls/yanks out the soldier.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

List of Characters

Here are all the characters I have sketched out (in my mind) so far:

































NameRole
Nina XochitlThe Heroine
Palmer (or Aiyetoro)The Hero
Chahta ApokniThe Contact
Isi PalliApokni's Wild Granddaughter
General Calvin Lloyd BeechThe Villian
Jim BlackfeatherIsi's Troubled Friend
TrumanThe Hero's "Brother"

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Killing two birds with one scene

Yes, I mean killing those birds...
Nina blows up some military barracks after escaping from the jail. Unbeknownst to her, Isi had come in desperation to plead with the general. Jim rides over to fetch Isi and sees what Nina is doing...tells her in a panic that Isi is there but is to late. She was in fact, in the barracks.
Killing Isi brings her to the realization that violence will always end up hurting the people she cares about. Perhaps she also believes that the Hero has been captured and killed (due to a public lie of the general's) and feels despondent for this reason as well until she finds out that it wasn't him and she rides out to find him and meets her own demise (gotta love that word).


Thank you, Sister, for helping me work that out or rather coming up with the whole frelling thing.

Isi's Demise

Isi's demise (there is no resolution for her) is part of what transforms Nina at the end of the story. Whereas before she believed that violence would protect them, after Isi succumbs to alcohol Nina sees that it's not just militar forces that they should fear but weapons that come in other forms such as alcohol and other drugs; she finds out ultimately that the problem is far more insidious than she previously believed.

Ultimately however, the conclusion of this story is still weak. It was not when I believed that an outside company was hired to relocate the people by force. Now that that isn't true, I'm somewhat uncertain about the effective way to change Nina's mind. Afterall, no matter how powerful the military they couldn't beat the guerrilla fighters in Vietnam so what's to say she couldn't have won her battle? Why should she go write in papers and talk to people? Why is this so much more effective? In the end, she is portrayed as simply an evil terrorist and an excuse to bring in more forces but I don't want to make it seem like she was the reason for the relocation when she wasn't. It's clear in the story that relocation is being considered from the beginning. But what is it that changes Nina? What is her epiphany? Surely, seeing people being herded like cattle would make her even more angry and violent...

Well, where to start? At the middle?

I have a lot to post about the book. A lot of new developments/scenes. I have 35 scenes so far and am aiming for 60. As soon as I have 60 scenes in order, I'll start the writing. With approximately one scene per weekday, I could finish the first draft in about three months. Can't wait.

1. Isi's mother may have started the drinking in the family. She actually died from it...was out drinking with fellow miscreants in the rain and caught pneumonia. Isi doesn't start/fights drinking until being abandoned by the General (though her friend Jim, who is in love with her, does drink all the time.) Nina was friends with Isi's mother when they were children and that is part of the reason she agrees to try to turn around Isi upon the request of Isi's grandmother.

2. General Beech loves Isi and hates himself for it. He dreams that she has become the woman that his ailing mother wants him to marry. That they are all happy and then he wakes at first happy and then when fully awake and back in reality, is angry that he is even fantasizing about what cannot be, never will be.

3. Isi goes to a church meeting in a futile effort to try to assimilate and become someone the General would marry.

4. There is an scare- a scene of hysteria in town when people hear about alleged slave revolts similar to the recent Nat Turner's Rebellion (everyone has been on edge since then) They heard that slaves are headed to town to kill everyone and everyone is hysterical including the woman General's Mama was trying to marry him off to. She and his mother look to the General for protection. They arrest some innocent people (some of the "buffalo soldiers"?) This elaborates on the atmosphere of hysteria and might also give Truman and friends a reason for helping free Nina.

5. Palmer dreams of his own separation from his family as a boy. Then, in the dream, the boy becomes his and Nina's child.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

The latest link between characters

So basically I know what characters I have now and I am just watching them and seeing how they interact with each other if at all. One potential relationship is of the heroine as a attempted mentor to Isi. She tries to help her see the error of her ways but the teacher is betrayed by her student.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


The Heroine, Nina